I felt like I was at the top, above everyone else. I was able to look down over the sides and see the little hairy dots that are the tops of peoples heads, scuttling around like tiny mindless insects. What I failed to notice is that these lowly insects was where I was going to be in a few seconds, I was holding up the line as the kid behind me kept poking my saying 'Go on!'. I practically jumped down the water slide, the still air hitting my face smoothly as I accelerated and the water splashing around me. I was in a car travelling speeds up to 100 km/hr to get to this indoor water park with my family, these speeds are common and unnatural. On the biggest water slide, that was real speed made up of nothing but the earths gravity. I felt a sense of risk and amazement unseen in my daily life but this was deflating as I got closer and closer to the ground, as these hairy dots were becoming people just like me, wanting to chase rare feelings. Is it our few days we get to fulfill our need for adrenaline after all.

After reaching the ground and coming to my senses, I decided I would go back to the place in the water park where my family left all our stuff. As I was walking by the young kids expressed such pure happiness over puddles in the splash pads, I become jealous as I was once like them, I've passed the craze of that phase. What I did, go down that water slide, was the peak in terms of what I could experience in my location and with that in mind, with the children running around me in their docile state, I was saddened that once you've known you peaked, it is only going to get worse. I know I'm in the right place when I see the circular formation of empty plastic chairs covered in towels with my mother filling one of them. She is deep into her book and looks intensely focused on it only to break that the second I am in her peripheral. She looks up in a way to assure that she notices me then enters in her intense trance once again. "How you doing? Enjoying?", she repeats her eye movements once again, a constant assurance. "Eh, okay. Okay. Where's the rest of us?", "Out and about, like you should.", she replies with a swaying hand motion.

I lay down in one of the chairs across from her and rest my eyes with my last vision being of the extremely high water slide I was once on, and beyond that, the brutal and advanced engineering of diverse rafters. In my daydreaming, I imagine what my brother, sister and father were doing. Enjoying the park as it is, no excess thoughts on what comes from this and where to go. I am happy for them, yet I have difficulty picturing their mindset. The cold interior zephyrs that flow mysteriously over the warped foam floors brushing against my skin, reassuring how naked I feel, how different. Can you blame me for failing to see the point when thinking in my logical perspective? I am righteous to think this way. The ignorant ones are those "out and about" playing in the lowly waters that pour over them. You de-justify and lynch my arguments, oh you, you are so special because of your simplifications of the opportunities before me? My critique is strong and does not nor will not show pity to your innocent squabbles and winces in the name of fun! You complete the most impressive task in this isolated park and then move on to the next thing hopeful of maximizing your worship of enjoyability rather than viewing the entire perspective. Once you have peaked, there's only down, don't disperse delicately, jump down for the true, logical, my own interpretation of how to feel, unique to me and my mind.

My eyelids burst open like popcorn kernels and the cold once on my skin is now replaced with heat from my mental articulations. I take a few deep breaths to regroup my derailed and aimlessly wondering train of thought. In goes that cold air, out it comes, infected with my reality, warmer to me, colder to others. I focus back up on this high ceiling up above and fall into my thinking, overtly once again. The thrill behind these slides are in the height. I wish to simply have more, more height of potential energy carrying my youthful mass down an infinite ride that I will appreciate for a lifetime. What is also an absolute paradise of heavenly delight is being at the top of the slide, looking over everything as tiny specs, insignificant to my unique and highly status and location, how wonderful. I would very seriously consider giving up my arms, legs and even senses in order for the ability to elegantly float or fly above all, a cloud of fluff, exclaiming in my state, "I can see my house from here.", stereotypically. I would be a helpless nugget of flesh operating under a god-like status, above all, lonesome yet ecstatic with my role. What an unrealistic scenario, my delusional fantasies of being a god-like unidentifiable flying nugget show my delusion, however naturally desirous. All these people in the water park, their screams of excitement and audible chatter of glee bouncing off the grey and high walls of this park, reflected into my poor ears, forced to hear at every moment.

I change my glance to the walls surrounding me, the physical walls. So highly and stoic in their silence, blocking and reflecting all of the unrecognizable noises, how graceful and elegant. My eyes run up the tall, grey metal walls as I stiffen my fidgeting fingers to replicate its simplistic beauty. I then look up to the tops of these walls and then to the ceiling that was in my peripheral previously. The ceiling is even greater, a symbol of dependence, (on the wonderful walls) though it holds high and acts as an alpha to the still walls. I admire it with an impenetrable stare of constant uniqueness. The beams that run across the ceiling look independent and detached from the ceiling. All of this is very underrated and I feel very lucky in a way for my processes and my intelligent thoughts. The height of the ceiling is far greater than any water slide or platform here, am I alone for simply desiring a perspective of something such as this ceiling, philosophically? Now a grand sore thumb of a water slide is the lines of many children waiting to do the exact same thing as me, a clear de-motivator. I wish for a unique summit of emotion based on what I can physically experience, many people can say that they have been on a tall water slide or have been in an airplane but how many can say they have been in space or an equal alternative of that thrill. I am no spaceman, my capability is lacking and in this moment, from what I can see above me, the ceiling with its grippable bars attracting me like a desert mirage, that seems achievable somewhat and does not require a lifetime of work. Nobody has ever occupied that space near the ceiling, not one has ever filled that air space, this would define me as even more of a unique person, when I am already plenty special.

I'm experiencing a starvation for that thrill achieved in the simplest manners, with little work, I would think so grand of that experience and myself. Like a prince born into overwhelming luxury, how great of a position to be in. I grab the damp towel hanging behind the chair and throw it over my resting head and body, it feels cool and relaxing. Through the towel fabric, I can experience the little glimpses of the ceiling and its opportunistic metal bars and beams in little segments of light. I tap into my more faithful and optimistic side as I mentally drool over my, in an alternate universe, potentially opportunity of individuality and uniqueness. My eyes close steadily once again. I picture myself beautifully and majestically hanging on one of those ceiling bars about 25 meters up, knowing in the main chamber of my mind that I am to be the only outstanding person who has been up there, gleefully observing my view of perfection and enlightenment.

So wonderful, heaven up above seems as if it could be a reality, a symbolism of status and quality of ones time spent. I would trade my entire family to marauders for this simple reality, I wish it more than any good experience in the world to feel the risen air untouched or interacted by the lowly majority of those ignorant, even smaller specs below me and my presence, my soul overflowing with content. I would sell my soul for something like this. Permanently in a state of perfection, status and bliss. My eyelids push together and I wish intensely with all my heart, my physical and spiritual self, to be placed up on those beams high above everyone. I can imagine the experience being life changing. I plug my ears from the sounds of the water park and sit in a meditational, self-reflective silence. Take me to the summit forever extending upwards, no downfall in sight. Please, I wish, I hope.

I feel an intense sense of drowsiness and feel like I have just awakened from a nap. My arms wrapped around around a cold bar that doesn't fit my hand shape well and is discomforting. My body is dangling in the air. The towel falls off my face and slowly glides downwards. I am grasping the greatly admired metal bar! An intense pressure builds up in my head as I fully realize where I am. I am above all in the park. My location is petrifying me and that mere fact makes me feel idiotic and self betrayed. I scan my head around, the air feels different. I look straight down to see my helpless body hanging above loads of empty space with the bottom being the floor (the rigid, lowly and waterproof concrete floor everyone, including me has touched with their inferior feet). I let out a yell of confused fear fused with happiness. This is only emersed in the anonymous chatters of others in the park, I am too high to have an effect on them, how divine.

My wish has come true, the opportunity is taken. I sense a pain developing in my arms and my mass being pulled downwards harder and harder. This physical fact does not break my exhilarated consciousness. This is wonderful, that little dreamer of short term zenith in every aspect of time of life now at the top of all, hanging elegantly in the uncharted open air. I feel so unique as a mere human, feeling traces of a close sense of godliness. This is the best I have ever felt. If this means the death of all besides me, I can revel in my own beauty. If this means sacrificing everything my body can physically offer, I will give it up, I am above all in a uniquely identified experience. Those microorganisms below me aimlessly frolicking in the next bunch of water and energies, I am superior to all. One hand slips in my perfected state, this feeling persists. This is so beautiful, I can't focus on much else, I have been touched in such a sacred way by my own wondering thoughts and look where it has brought me. My beautiful reality is real, my individual hand cramp is real, the summit is real and I have reached it without even touching the mountain, in all its rough patches and freezing temperatures.

I no longer feel my hand and within the next few moments, all the pain there is relaxed.

I no longer am holding the bar.

Everything is silent and simple.

I descend to where I once was.

I have peaked.

I sink in open airs, my previous perspective becoming more viewable.

I have grasped the bar of life.

I have only gone downwards.

I have let go of all life has to offer.

Am I done in life?

Is this it in life?