We have given up so many things by making sex this open thing that everyone is supposed to do with several random people before 'unfortunately' deciding on one person that will be the one to make your life boring by limiting your options to that one person. We expect this person to perfect fulfill our every need as a person and perfectly match us at any given time. Our view of relationship with one another reflects our view of God. Your relationship must be consistent with your relationship with Christ. If you are unwilling to change for Him but gladly accept with love and forgiveness, imagine that parallel between a man and a woman. Are you good enough to die for? No, but with grace comes prosperity in a relationship until they do die.

Now we are distant and unwilling to give up everything for that sake. We convolute it and prioritize non important and sensory things. You could argue that this is not just a now problem, but has always been a problem since the beginning, the derisions between a man and a woman and all of the reasons for that. If you listen to any modern love song, it sounds so similar to gospel songs, putting up other humans as this being that satisfies our every single need without us needing to change at all. We are currently breaking apart society by implementing such a horrible and toxic godless view of relationships. Peoples natural traits of selfishness and lack of self control led them to putting our own little pathetic impulses above our very God Himself. Think of how horrible that is, this pure gift reduced to mere friction and stimulation for the sake of self identity and 'freedom'. So many men have taken advantage of such a flawed worldview leading to so many unplanned pregnancies, abortions and broken homes with children who grow up to participate in the same system as a coping mechanism for their incomplete family that was caused by the very thing they are indulging in.

When I was perceiving the want of a relationship through the perspective that this person should be exactly like me and be able to fulfill anything I'd like from them, it was a vicious cycle of nothingness. It would entice my greed reduce the emphasis on nessecary sacrificial love that is required in any relationship. When I began to see what a true relationship is (a parallel between Christ and His church) that cannot just be some temporary fling that is only feeding on what each individual wants for themselves rather than both individuals needing to fulfill the needs of each other. Humanity in its purest and most honest form is seen in young children and babies, closest in essense to what we originally were in the garden of eden. In that state, we are full of life and precious value that is most apparent then, capable of remarkable rejuvenation and with bodies of purity without blemish. We can truly see the pureness of what makes a human valuable in a very young human. In these related states of humanity, we also see our inherent sinful nature. We see how we chose selfish ways right from the start and how that nature goes back to and began right to the fall. Picture a young children, whining and pouting, kicking and screaming because he is not getting his way. This nature is present right from the beginning.

This sin is amplified as it extends across dozens of generations, each of these having to bear the worldly punishment of the bad deeds that their ancestors did and each one more clueless than the last. It compounds and doubles the suffering. The only restoration from this inevitable trend is a work of grave by God Himself.

It is so hard to imagine how I thought a relationship was supposed to be structured before God. It was extremely transactional and only had any foundation on trivial things, like whether or not they can constantly provide certain meaningless things for me. I do a little good for her to keep her happy, she does a little good to me to keep me happy, win win. Truthfully, a relationship with the strongest love is one that reflects God's love for us sinners, unending, sacrificial and unfair. I give her everything to show Gods beauty through that love. She does the same back naturally from her conscience seeing how hard I am trying for her. Even if she does not, for how long has God put up with your sin? Even when He claims you as His own and you still manage to mess up, God is always there, holding on to His promises forever and ever, amen.

We are so often deluded by cultural depictions of relationship seen in movies, TV and pornography. They program people from a young age that their soulmate should be perfect in every single way, should be sexually promiscuous to them. The way people talk about relationships with such an uncertainty is directly caused by taking God out of the relationship, rejecting the structure of marriage and children and making sex a casual and normal thing that any two people can decide to do at any moment, pretending it doesn't have any consequences.

All for the sake of mindless pleasure. People always unsure if they will stay with their girl or boyfriend, always uncertain if they are unfaithful or going to stay with them. You sacrificed so much structure and security in a relationship just because you had no self control and wanted to act on your sexual desires. Everyone lusts after bigger body parts, more and more all the time. Will people ever realize how sexual lust only grows over time and is never fully satisfied? So much suffering, heartbreak and broken homes again because, we want our own ways. We want the forbidden fruit and we are willing to find any way to justify it.

Get married as soon as you are able to with someone who loves God more than you and just let the kids naturally come with your natural process. You have these urges because it brings children, this is the simple design at its most basic core. People fail to follow simple things though, it gets twisted, people get hurt. This is a rough overview of marriage, sex and related topics and how it is all so backwards nowadays. I felt the urge to write all this explosively because of how I see the people in my life talk about relationships. They talk about sex as if it is a literal drug and in our minds, we are forced to reduce our partners down to sex, wealth or other things that fade with time. As these things fade, the connection does as well, do you really know this person?

People just want the pleasure. Guys want to coherse gullible women to sleep with them and then ignore them and girls want to seek the thrill only found in spontaneous sex for enjoyment and to rebel against the authority figures in their lives. In this process, they both convince themselves that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing and that it is a good thing to do. They ignore the risk of STDs, an unplanned pregnancy, emotional damage and regret.

People are missing out on such fulfilling lives and are completely oblivious to it. Guys I know could easily turn their life around, find a church girl and marry in a few years, build a family together and be happy at the end of your life telling all these things to their grandchildren. What I see is so many completely lost souls in their 40s with a boatload of either mediocrity or sin throughout their whole life, substitute a dog for a child, only consume in their free time and have a girl or boyfriend they have been dating for a ridiculously long time but are physically unable to get to the point of marriage. All this and they are completely oblivious to what joys of a long term marriage and children. It is simply a piece of paper that means nothing? Then if you do truly love this person, going through the process of being legally unionized should not be a big deal. What's holding you together? There is no legal structure for your relationship to establish itself as a permanent venture.

I say all these confident things, though I have been very blessed. We need to be very careful nowadays because of all these issues. We need to ensure that our love for a person is rooted in sacrifice and puts you last, but you must also ensure that the other person has enough grace in them that they won't abuse this part of your love and will actually return the favour, the key to any successful relationship.

All the sex, drugs, money, looks and more will fade away, but if the love stands on self sacrifice then that foundation will stay forever.